Are Your Loved Ones Holding You Back?

A young woman and man embracing while outdoors.
Image via Wikipedia

When you decide it is finally time to make a change you are excited. You want to share that excitement with others.  So what most of us do is talk to our spouse, best friend or parents.  That’s normal, we share those important things in our life with those we care about and who care about us.

What we don’t expect, but unfortunately often happens, is criticism.  We expect support and a ‘good for you’ and a ‘how can I help’, but instead we get negative responses.  Were told that can’t work or you won’t be able to reach that goal or not to set your sights so high.

This is the time when we think to our self, “What in the world is going on!” Why are they not supporting me. I thought they cared about me.  What you have to realize is they do care.  They care a lot and don’t want to see you get hurt. They want you to succeed but they are afraid you won’t and as a result you will be hurt.

Allison Masian wrote about this and offers some additional reasons for why people do this and also gives some historical examples and a personal one which were pretty interesting.

Her words of advice are, “So when you reveal your dreams, be careful to only share them with those that are supportive of you. Otherwise, I suggest you keep them to yourself.”

I agree that is one way to approach it and I would probably do it this way with coworkers or those who I don’t have a really close relationship with.

An alternative you might want to try, now that you understand how or why they may react in a negative manner, is talk to them about it. Be honest. If they start to provide criticism and/or negative comments tell them how that makes you feel.

Let them know you understand they are trying to help you from getting hurt, but you would rather have their full support and fail rather then leave them out of an important part of your life. It may not always work, but when it does you will have a support system that is unstoppable.  If it doesn’t work, then let them know you understand how they feel and ask them not to discuss the topic.  By doing this you will have at least stopped the negative comments.

Regardless of what any does or doesn’t say, whether they support you or not, you need to believe in yourself.  I mean really believe in yourself.  You are worth it.